Saturday 24th February

I'm having a good day despite achieving next to nothing. I managed a 5k run in the gym today. A big deal for a non-runner like me. I think it helped that I had an espresso just beforehand. Mind you, I felt knackered for the rest of the day.
Husband has offered to take me to Le Manoir for my upcoming birthday. Would be lovely, French food is my favourite, except there is a minimum 2 night stay for weekends. My birthday falls on a Friday this year so I doubt we'll go as rooms begin around the £350 mark!
Monkey Boy adores his Daddy so much. Saturday is definitely 'Daddy time' and at least twice today he ordered me to "Go in the kitchen Mummy". I try not to take exception to this as Daddy is working such long hours and Monkey barely sees him in the week. I definitely feel like a 'weekend wife' at times. Still, I also enjoy my independence and have never minded my own company and thoughts.
I had mixed news today. A former friend gave birth to a baby boy and I am delighted for her and her hubby but I doubt I will see her baby unless it is by accident. We had an 'enduring' friendship through school but this was largely based on her bullying me and me having a perverse need for her approval. I made a mistake of entrusting her to carry out the duties of a 'chief bridesmaid' (conjures images of Atilla The Hun somehow) and was then surprised when she attempted to let me down at every turn. This 'honour' of being a bridesmaid was bestowed upon me by her until, at the eleventh hour, I realised I had been 'uninvited' in this role. Not even having the guts to tell me to my face and yet happily chat about the plans and the detail of her wedding in front of me, left me raw. It proved pivotal in our relationship. I decided that I would step back, unable to accept the same crap that I had as a child. God, this is reading like a dodgy therapy session.

Spoke to Mad Granny (my Mother) today. I can tell she is struggling. My grandmother has Altzheimers disease but also has a back problem which is causing her intolerable pain. Apparently she'd been popping Ibuprofen like it was going out of fashion - along with her other tablets- but it was causing deterioration in her digestive tract so the Doctor ordered her to stop taking it. My dear Ma was with her for hours yesterday, feeling utterly helpless in easing her pain. It is a horrible thought that you can't help the pain of someone you love. All this was related with great pace on the basis of needing to go and help my father , and yet, just as I'm doing a mental drift, she snaps me back with some minor titbit of gossip about someone or other